My Key to Getting What I Want this Holiday Season

There are some things that I definitely want for Christmas.

I know, it sounds greedy, doesn’t it?

Getting what I want is selfish. It means not giving to others.  I’m not taking into consideration what others need.

That’s definitely what I once thought. And, friends… those thoughts got me in trouble.

I’ll paint the picture for you, and see if you can relate.

There once was a time that giving to others was the only thing on my list.

Giving handmade gifts. Giving extra time to the committee. Giving to my family when I had nothing left.

Making sure I attended the parties I was invited to… because I didn’t want to hurt the feelings of the person who invited me.

Making sure my former husband followed the unspoken corporate protocol by purchasing his employee gifts and attending all of his work parties with him.

Making sure that each gift we gave had a special meaning and that they were uniquely wrapped with the recipient in mind.

By the time January rolled around, I felt like I was hit by a truck. The holiday seasons of my past left me emotionally and physically exhausted. Every muscle in my body would ache. I was always up at least 10 pounds on the scale and my blood pressure was high. And typically it wasn’t until February that I got my groove back.   

Does any of this resonate?

Nurturers, Caregivers, High Achievers… LISTEN UP!

It doesn’t have to be that way for you this year.

You can give to the people and things that you hold dear,

AND not lose yourself in the process.

Come to the Resilience Series, and create a holiday season that fills you with energy and joy.

But, whether you join us or not, I’d like to help you get started on creating a healthy, balanced holiday season… before it begins to snowball out of control.

We’ve heard this before, but it bears repeating...because many of us high achievers tend to “know our way out of doing” (me included.)

Getting what you want, and articulating your needs, DOES NOT mean that you are greedy, selfish or inconsiderate. Taking care of yourself and taking care of others are not mutually exclusive.

You’ve been divinely created to bring your best to the world. And you can’t bring your best, when you’re not taking care of yourself. When I struggle with this self-care mindset (yup... I still do), I remember Parker Palmer’s brilliant words, “Self-care is never a selfish act- it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the only gift I was put on earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give the care it requires, we do it not only for ourselves, but for the many others whose lives we touch.”

If you’re ready to get the most out of your holiday season, you’ve got to be ready to take care of yourself in the process.

So, here you go;

The Keys to Getting What You Want this Season

1. Begin Now. Take control of what you want. Halloween is my signal to begin planning ahead for what I want to experience during the holiday season. I no longer wait for the invites to roll in, the gift lists to increase, the holiday cards to fill my mailbox in order to take action. All of those things are lovely and a much anticipated part of my season. However, I learned that when I waited to respond to those extra activities of the season, I was allowing other people to decide how I should be spending my time. By beginning now, I am the one deciding how I spend my time and energy.

2. Back into the Season. When January comes, how do you want to feel? Energized and fulfilled? At peace and content? Balanced and joyful? Once you home in on how you want to feel, identify the activities and events that will support those feelings. Make a list of all the things you want to do and experience this season that will foster the feelings you want to experience when the new year rolls around.

3. Eliminate to Illuminate.  Less is more. Narrow down your long list to 3 or 4 priorities for the season. (don’t shrug this one off as impossible, it’s critical). In order for you to fully engage in and enjoy the holiday season, and keep your health and sanity in tack, you MUST eliminate the long list of to-dos. If you don’t, you’ll be left feeling like a shell of yourself. You’ll be empty, without anything to let give to those you love. Worse yet, you run the risk of becoming angry and resentful, and I know you don’t want that. Less is definitely more when it comes to fully enjoying the wonder of the season.

4. Get It on the Calendar. Now that you’ve identified what you want to commit to this season, put these things on your calendar now. If sending out holiday cards is one of your priorities, schedule time for it on your calendar. Perhaps you’re someone who absolutely loves going to holiday shows. Find a play or musical performance that you want to attend, purchase tickets now, and write it in your calendar. You know what I'm about to say… it won’t happen unless you make it happen.


Next week is Halloween. I know I don’t want my last two months of the year to roll over I’ll be making my plan for a fulfilling, uplifting and joyful season.

Won’t you join me? I don’t want to see you lose yourself among the busyness of the season.

To help you get started, here are a few things so you can do right now:

I know I’m not alone in the challenge of simplifying the season. If you’ve got a friend who would benefit from hearing this message, would you forward it on to her?

It just might be the best present she'll receive all season.