Scoring Goals Isn't the Only Way to Win the Game
The world is loud, fast and always on.
All the cool kids on LinkedIn and Instagram tell us we need to be "brave," "bold" and "badass." That the reason we feel like we're never quite there yet is we're not doing it quite well enough.
I used to believe them.
I worked harder. Took bold action. Made big, audacious, hairy goals.
And it worked.
Kind of.
I mean, I like my life.
My life's nice.
And yet all that badassery left me running on empty and chronically exhausted.
Case in point: I've burned out multiple times and I now have two autoimmune diseases.
Here's what I wish I knew years ago.
We're not all meant to rise and grind.
The world would be pretty off kilter if everyone played offense.
There's two things that go into winning the game. Scoring goals. And preventing them.
And yet at the end of the game, as in life, the accolades seem to only go to the ones who score the goals. Not the defenders who kept the ball out of the net.
As a former defense player in soccer and field hockey, I've always been drawn to the defender mindset.
The quiet strength. The way they read the field. The solid, unflourished boot out of the box. No fanfare. Just inner knowing and confidence.
Their drive comes from within, not the cheers of the crowd. Their gift is reading the field and responding with agility and accuracy.
Offensive players often play for the crowd, encouraging cheers with fancy footwork that's exciting and showy. But with the show, you lose accuracy.
The strong, solid boot gets the job done, with less risk. It can be counted on.
You can count on flourish and flash to get the accolades. But you can't count on them for sustainable success.
In every sports team, there's often an undercurrent between the offensive and defensive players. You may have noticed it in teams at work too.
It comes down to a different philosophy of where the game gets won.
If you've already tried the boss babe hacks and the rise and grind tips, and you still feel behind and beyond exhausted, I have a feeling you have a different philosophy of how the game's won too.
You're like the defender living in a world that glorifies the offense.
I am, too.
I want you to know you're not alone.
And I want you to know you're not doing it wrong.
Even though there's a predominant philosophy for success, there's a different way to live and lead.
You don't have to be on offense to win the game.
The world will keep telling you to be louder, faster, more visible. That's just the culture we're steeped in. It's loud. It's fast. It's always on.
We can't choose how the world works. But we can choose how we work in the world.
Defense was never going to get applause in a world built for offense. But it's often the one reason the game is won.
If some part of you is exhausted and has been quietly holding the line for a long time now, I want to send you something.
It's called The Check In, a short practice I built for myself and my clients to reclaim energy. And it works. It's built for all four parts of you, the Smart One, the Wise One, the Little One and the Creative One.
This short daily practice helps you hear what's true for you, underneath all the noise.
It's not a meditation and it's not one more thing to optimize.
It's a way of defending yourself against full-throttle burnout culture.
The Check In isn't on my website yet.
Just email me at lisa@livingfullybalanced.com and I'll send it to you directly.
By the time women talk to me, many believe the only way to relieve their exhaustion is to leave the life they've carefully built.
You don't have to burn it all down.
You're not too sensitive. You're not too much. Whatever else you've been telling yourself, you can put that aside, too.
You can absolutely have sustainable ambition, without losing your edge.
I'm in the stands, rooting for you.
Lisa Bobyak founded Living Fully Balanced LLC because she got tired of watching brilliant women break themselves trying to maintain excellence, in part because she'd been one of them. For over a decade, she's worked with high-achieving, deeply attuned women who are doing everything right. Competent, disciplined, and highly self-aware. Armed with strategies, protocols, and solid habits. The level of their exhaustion doesn't match their effort to feel better.
If you're a high-achieving woman who's tired of working harder at your own wellbeing than you work at everything else... you don't have to break yourself to prove your worth.
Here are some things to consider:
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