Knocked Off Track Again? How to Gain Traction Without Feeling Like You Failed
Estimated read time: 6 minutes
The short answer: If you keep getting knocked off track or losing traction on the things that keep you well (e.g., your exercise or sleep routine, taking your supplements, or staying in touch with loved ones), you haven’t failed.
You’re a woman carrying a lot, and some of it was always going to have to be set down. Life happens.
The P.I.E. Principle is a simple framework I’ve given my clients for years to help them pick those things back up without burning out again.
P.I.E. stands for Pace, Input, and Energy. They’re the three things you still get to choose, even when so much else isn’t up to you.
Why do I keep losing traction on the things that keep me feeling my best?
I want to share a composite of the women I work with.
She’s a leader in a demanding role. And she’s the reason everything feels effortless to the people around her. She anticipates what’s needed before anyone asks. And she’s very, very good at it. People count on her.
Somewhere along the way, she got serious about taking care of herself. She started walking in the mornings, before she ever looked at her phone. She protected one evening a week that was just for her to decompress. She loved the extra margin and spaciousness both of those habits gave her. For a while, it worked. She felt more like herself than she had in years.
But then, life hit. Maybe a staffing change left her covering two roles. Maybe a family member needed more attention.
Because time’s limited, she needed to move things around. The walks went first. Then her evening of solitude dropped off.
She told herself she’d get back to both once things calmed down. She fully intended to.
But, as you probably already guessed, things didn’t calm down. They rarely do.
When she finally picked the walks back up, she couldn’t find her footing. She’d manage two mornings, then miss four. And every missed walk felt like proof she failed.
Here’s the thing that bothered her most:
She could keep a dozen moving pieces running for a demanding team without dropping a single one. So why couldn’t she keep one walk for herself?
If she sounds familiar, I wouldn’t be surprised. Women like us have patterns.
If I can take a guess, you’re not trying to escape your life. You’ve intentionally created the life you have with utmost care.
You actually love your life. You just don’t love that it’s sucking the life out of you.
So you build the routines, protect your peace, make the plans.
And then something knocks you off track. A parent needs you. A project blows up. Someone on your team leaves.
The thing that was keeping you well quietly slips.
You start to wonder whether you really can keep all the balls in the air.
Or whether you’ll always be dropping some along the way, feeling like you failed every time you do, and never really feeling your best.
What happens when you try to get back on track?
You decide to pick it back up, and before you’ve even started, that voice in your head chimes in.
“You should have done this months ago.”
“Why is this so hard? It used to be easy.”
“If you’re going to do it, do it right.”
Just like that, getting back on track turns into catching up.
And then, because we’re high achievers and rarely satisfied with just doing the thing… we spin it into a lesson so the time away doesn’t feel wasted. OOF.
It can be exhausting.
It isn’t only happening in your head, either. Your body hears that voice too, and it braces like you’re already behind before you’ve taken the first step.
Stomach in knots. Jaw clenching. Shoulders raised. Breath shallow.
I’d like to offer you a different way to think about all of this.
What does it look like to get back on track without starting over?
It’s picking up something you set down on purpose... the morning walks, the friend you kept meaning to call, the quiet hour that was just yours before the house wakes up... and coming back to it without punishing yourself for being away.
Maybe this was the year a parent needed you more. Maybe your team lost people and your workload doubled. Maybe you’re carrying a loss that’s still heavy. Maybe your health needed more attention.
Or maybe it was simply a year of being the one everyone counted on.
Any one of those would reasonably change a plan. And none of them mean you did something wrong. They mean you needed to adapt.
Do you have to start from scratch?
When you come back, you’re not the same woman you were when you set it down.
You know more about what you need now.
You understand your limits in a way you didn’t in January.
And now you know, firsthand, what doesn’t work... which is worth far more than most of us give it credit for.
That’s not lost time. That’s what the year cost you. And that cost matters.
Why do so many of us burn out again when we come back?
Most of us try to return at the same speed and at the same level we left. All at once, at full capacity, as if nothing ever happened.
And when a busy season piles on more of everything, like the holidays do, that’s setting ourselves up to burn out again.
What is the P.I.E. Principle?
The P.I.E. Principle is a three-part framework for getting back to what matters without burning out again.
Pace, Input, and Energy are the three things you still get to choose, even when so much else isn’t up to you.
Pace: choosing when and how you respond
Pace isn’t about slowing down. It’s about taking back the choice of when and how you respond. When everything feels urgent, the late-night email and the text that “just needs a quick yes” get answered first, and the thing you meant to come back to waits. That urgency lives in your body as much as on your calendar. Choosing your pace is how you let both settle.
Input: choosing what you allow in
Input is choosing what you allow in from everything coming at you. The notifications, the news, the opinions about how your season should look, the quiet comparisons. The bright lights. The loud music. The large crowds. You get to choose what you let in.
Energy: what you can realistically give
Energy is what you can realistically give during this season, not what you think you should be able to handle. Not the energy you had in January. Not the energy a capable woman “should” have. The energy you actually have now, after everything this year asked of you.
How do you use P.I.E. to come back to one thing?
Choose just one thing that’s important to you. Then ask yourself:
Pace: When and how do I want to come back to it?
Input: What do I need to let in, or keep out, to protect it?
Energy: What can I realistically give it right now?
Your answers don’t have to be aspirational. But they do need to be honest for the season you’re in.
If you’d like to go a little deeper, I’ve turned the P.I.E. Principle into a short reflection called Gain Traction with P.I.E. It starts by naming one trade-off you’ve made and what it actually cost you, the part most of us skip, then walks you through Pace, Input, and Energy for your busiest weeks. It’s a tool my clients and I use, and it’s my gift to you.
Click the button below and I’ll send it right over.
Along with the Gain Traction with P.I.E. reflection, you’ll also receive my weekly newsletter, where I share real stories and honest reflections for women who want to keep their edge without losing their mind. You can unsubscribe anytime.
What if you’ve decided to let something go?
That counts too.
Some of what you set down this year doesn’t need to come back.
Sometimes getting honest with yourself means accepting a goal belonged to an earlier version of you. You can release it with care instead of guilt.
I don’t see that as failure.
There’s coming back and there’s letting go. Both are solid choices. Especially during a busy season.
Is it ever too late to get back on track?
No. There’s no limit on how many times you get to come back.
So if a busy season pulls you away again, that’s okay.
The door doesn’t close. You can pick it back up in January, or in March, without owing anyone an apology. Including yourself.
If it helps, put a reminder on your calendar to check back in.
Frequently asked questions about the P.I.E. Principle
What does P.I.E. stand for?
Pace, Input, and Energy. Pace is choosing when and how you respond. Input is choosing what you allow in from everything coming at you. Energy is what you can realistically give during this season, not what you think you should be able to handle.
Is the P.I.E. Principle about slowing down?
No. It’s about choice and personal agency. Many high-achieving women don’t want to slow down, and they don’t need to. P.I.E. gives you back control over how you respond, so you’re not answering everything as if it’s urgent.
Is there a P.I.E. worksheet I can use?
es. Gain Traction with P.I.E. is a free, short reflection that walks you through naming a trade-off, what it cost you, and how Pace, Input, and Energy can protect what matters during a busy season. [Get it here] and it’ll arrive in your inbox, along with my weekly newsletter.
What if I try to come back and it doesn’t stick?
That’s common, and it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. Sometimes something in your body pushes back when you return to something, even something you want. If you keep running into that, The Living by Design Session is a place to build a strategy that fits you.
Lisa Bobyak founded Living Fully Balanced LLC because she got tired of watching brilliant women break themselves trying to maintain excellence, in part because she’d been one of them. For 13 years, she’s worked with high-achieving, deeply attuned women who are doing everything right. Competent, disciplined, and highly self-aware. Armed with strategies, protocols, and solid habits. The level of their exhaustion doesn’t match their effort to feel better. They haven’t been missing strategies. They’ve been missing a witness.
If you’re a high-achieving woman who’s tired of working harder at your own wellbeing than you work at everything else... your ambition doesn’t have to cost you your peace. Sustainable ambition is possible, and you don’t have to find it alone.
Wherever you are right now, here’s where to go next:
Stay connected: Join the weekly newsletter for real stories and honest reflections on what it actually costs to lead while caring deeply, at work and at home. For women who’d like to feel a little less alone in all of this. Sign up here
Explore working together: The Living by Design Session ($150, 50 minutes) is a real coaching session, not a discovery call. Afterward, you’ll receive a Witness Sheet: a one-page reflection of what you shared, along with the specific strategies we created for your situation. You’ll leave feeling seen, and knowing exactly what to do next. If we decide deeper partnership work makes sense after your session, the $150 applies toward the full investment. Schedule your session here
Bring this to your organization: The Full Capacity Living Workshop gives women leaders practical strategies to make their ambition sustainable, so they keep their edge without losing their mind. When your best people feel seen for what their work asks of them, they stay. Let’s talk about bringing this to your group.