"It's fine. I'm fine. Everything's fine!"
Do you have any sort of food allergy?
Like some people have a deadly reaction to nuts?
People I’ve known with severe allergies talk about it. They know nuts aren’t healthy for them. They don’t continue eating them just because everyone else is.
When they are asked “Do you have any special dietary requirements?”, they don’t hide their allergy by saying “No, I’m fine. I can eat anything.”
We’re actually glad the they took personal responsibility for themselves
We applaud their personal choices.
We hope that WE would be as clear and direct, if we had a similar issue.
Yet as smart, high achieving women we continue to miss the mark when it comes to speaking up for ourselves.
Because of the work I do, I get a behind the scenes view into the thoughts of high achieving women.
On the outside these women are totally put together and they exude complete confidence.
But on the inside, you might be surprised to hear that it’s a different matter altogether.
In my conversations with these go-getters they admit that while their veneer is shiny and strong, they’re growing tired of holding that heavy shield.
And once they feel safe and seen by me, they begin to drop their armor.
“You’re probably going to think I’m crazy, but…
As much as I cherish my kids, I’m resentful of the attention they demand.”
As far as I've come in my career, I still feel like I’m faking it.”
As much as I love my husband, sometimes I just want my own apartment.”
As much as I trust my girlfriends, they don’t really know what’s inside my head.”
It makes me so sad knowing that women are feeling alone… when in fact, they’re struggling with similar issues.
I dream of a world where all women feel comfortable sharing what’s on their mind.
Rather than hiding behind a shiny shield, pretending that everything’s ok, when they’re truly hurting inside…
I see a world where we hold our shields to our sides and speak what’s on our minds and in our hearts.
In the twelve years that I’ve been coaching women, here’s what I’ve found to be true:
When my clients get real with me, they begin to offer themselves grace and compassion.
GRACE and COMPASSION rather than “white knuckling” and “soldering through”.
What they come to find is that self compassion offers them far more than self flagellation ever did.
So, my ask of you is two-fold:
Move the shield, ditch the “I’m fine”, and get real instead.
Offer yourself some compassion and grace along the way.
FACT: This fast paced, rise and grind culture we’re steeped in takes a toll on all of us.
I firmly believe that we’re not meant to go it alone, and yet that’s exactly what we’re doing when we say, “It’s fine. I’m fine. Everything’s fine!”
Need a strategy and perhaps a script for when saying what’s on your mind is hard?
That’s what many women are doing during their Mid Year Review with me.
In addition to flipping the script on the “everything’s fine” narrative, they are taking stock of the year so far, and resetting their sails for the rest of 2024.
My clients and I talk about their unique situations and I customize strategies for them.
And, almost always, we discuss topics like:
setting and holding boundaries
creating a balanced schedule
productivity and personal wellbeing
courageous conversations
time and energy management
You’re NOT alone, even if it feels that way.
It’s OK to not be OK.
Getting real gets you real results.
Hugs,
Lisa